Brother, If I Cast a Shadow, You Were a Light

Strangely enough, they said you came
Because I asked, to ease my claim—
To loneliness, they spun it so,
A tale, perhaps, but one I know:
For all its myth or made-up grace,
I’m glad you’re here, glad you took place.

I remember that day you were born,
The pregnant woman rushed away,
The new father called to say:
“It’s a boy,” the line declared,
And I danced to words both fierce and fair,
With Granddad’s ring, his laugh in tune,
As joy unfurled our living room.

(Granddad was blind, but saw so much,
The only pure light, the gentle touch
Of childhood’s joy—guitar in hand,
Birds at his call, he’d understand
What others missed, like silent cues;
He knew our loss, our father’s news.
Bright in our days, uncomplicated,
The only good I’ve ever rated.)

You, the baby, mother’s care,
So fragile in her worried stare,
Yet, I held no grudge for love she spared,
I watched you grow and always cared.
At school, I’d glimpse you through the glass,
Quiet pride, no words to pass.

Then came the fights, as brothers do,
A tossed toy here, a scar or two.
Bound tight through all that life portrayed—
Two souls by fate’s same hand betrayed.

My dark humour bit, perhaps too deep—
I never meant to cut or sweep
Away the tender child you were,
Not caped in all my rough veneer.

And then the times I seemed to fade,
Those college days, the escape I made—
Almost six years, you still in school,
Left captive there, by mother’s rule.

You were a blur yet always there,
Bound by our talks and moments shared,
With the one whose eyes turned brown to green,
And nights we spent on a TV screen,
Both wanting to believe, drawn into his plan—
The smoky tales of the cigarette man.

But life bore down, its burden shared,
And while I fled, you stayed ensnared.
Our parent’s weight, their chains to bear,
I left you, trapped, in silent care.
The years between us wide and steep,
Yet somehow, brother, they run deep.

Then tragedy came,

sharp

and fast,

I pulled ahead, left you in its blast—

With her, our mother’s weighted reign,
You bore alone that quiet pain.
I tried, but not enough, and fled,
My way was forward, onward led.

Now oceans wide, you live anew,
Your chosen exile, safe, askew,
And though I wish you were unscarred,
And do too much to bring you back,
I know our innocence is marred.

You try to hide, but don’t you see—
They sense it there, as plain as me.

Brother, take heed, protect your soul,
Or face the scars that take their toll.

All storms you weathered,

hard to forget;

Just cling to light—it still burns bright.